Getting Rid of Worry: A Comprehensive Guide
We often hear people say they are sick with worry. And that is no joke, because worrying really can make you ill! Many people come to me when they feel burdened with worries. But there is good news! Often the detangling process of getting rid of your worries can be much easier than you may think!
Worry can be a vicious cycle. Have you ever noticed that when you start worrying about one thing, other worries seem to follow? This can make it feel like bad things are happening all at once. Is this a real phenomenon? And more importantly, is it possible to stop worrying? Let's explore how you can manage and reduce worry effectively.
Understanding What Worry Is.
Worry is a naturally human emotional response to potential threats or uncertainties. Historically, worry played a crucial role in our survival. Going back to when our ancestors were cavemen and dangers were often life or death situations, it made sense to consider the possible outcomes of any possible threat, and to carefully think it through.
Once the mind starts whirring, however, the possibilities of what may or may happen become pretty endless. Our brains perceive all forms of stress as a fight-or-flight scenario, leading to the release of hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream. When there's no need to physically fight or flee, these hormones can cause restlessness and tension, make your heart beat more quickly, feel sick to the stomach, cause sleeplessness, and more. In the case of our ancestors, their fight or flight response was often to just stay in their cave, because it felt safer. Unfortunately, staying in one’s cave often didn’t sort out the worry. At some point, our cavemen would need to go out of the cave to get supplies. And so, the circle of worry would go on, and the ame applies today!
How Worrying Works
It's a fact that problems exist and require solutions. However, finding the right solution can be challenging. When we focus too much on our problems and potential solutions, worry can set in. Our minds can project us into many future possibilities, showing us the potential knock-on effects of decisions, we may make. Often, our mind goes to town, showing us multiple possible negative outcomes. Then, existing worries can compound, making it harder to think clearly.
It is worth noting also, that some people are more pre-disposed to worries than others. If you are one of these people, then recognizing you are a natural born worrier can help you take steps to solving your issue. For others, worries can set in at a time where there is a build up of problems, or no immediate answers to a particular situation, particularly if it has been going on for some time, or it is sparked by some kind of trauma or shock
Worrying is a pointless thing! It doesn't usually provide any solutions. Worrying uses a different part of the brain than problem-solving. To find solutions, you need to be analytical and follow a step-by-step process.
Whatever the reason that the worry occurs, it can cause us many issues, highlighting the need for effective management to maintain overall well-being. And that’s where I may be able to help. The advice in this blog is to help you become an empowered warrior who can tackle their issues, rather than just a worrier!
Detangling: Prepare To Manage Your Worries
One of the most effective methods to address worry is the practice of focusing on the present moment and observing one's thoughts and emotions without judgment. This practice has been used historically to cultivate a sense of peace and clarity, preventing worries from dominating the mind and emotions. By adopting this mechanism, you can learn to navigate your worries more effectively, just as our ancestors did to cope with their fears and uncertainties. Once you have accomplished this, it also becomes easier to analyse your worries, and finally, to get rid of quite a few, if not all of them! Here are my tips to shed your worry!
1. Observe your Worries
At any time your mind starts to go down the path of worrying, imagine yourself as a person standing in your mind, a kind of avatar of yourself. Now imagine this person who is you, descending a staircase, down your throat, through your chest and into your tummy area. From your tummy, sit and observe your mind. It may take a bit of practice, but if you can achieve this, often your mind will immediately STOP its train of thought, as it knows you are observing it! If it doesn’t, just sit and observe what it is thinking.
2. Understanding the Past and the Future
You will see that your mind will often work in the past: “You shouldn’t have done that!” “I wish that hadn’t happened.” Or it simply keeps revisiting unpleasant situations. Your mind will also work in the future; “What will happen if…?” Unless you are concentrating on a task in the here and now that requires your full attention, or are having a beautiful moment in nature, or one that resonates with you completely, the troubled mind will inevitably launch you either backwards into the past or forwards into the future. Be aware of this and note what your mind is doing. Label your thoughts PAST or FUTURE and just be aware of this.
3. Let the Past Be
The past cannot be changed. Remind yourself of this and consciously let go of past hurt or failures. Dwelling on past problems can prevent you from finding solutions to current issues. Focus on the present and address your current problems without rehashing old ones.
4. Accept Your Current Situation
Your current situation is what it is. Acceptance is the key to success. Acknowledge your current situation, including who you are, where you live, and your circumstances. This forms a solid foundation for addressing your worries.
5. The Future Hasn’t Yet Happened
Sorry to say, but you, or indeed I, may fall under a bus tomorrow. (although please don’t start worrying about that as well!) So, there is no point in worrying about the “What Ifs” of the future. The decisions you make today will directly affect your future, so again, try to keep your concerns in the present moment and focus on resolving any issues you have.
6. Watch Out for Negative Spirals
When our stress hormones are overworking, we become very alert, like a deer in an open field, always alert to potential danger. This is why when we are worrie and anything remotely negative happens to potentially add to our worries, we are already looking out for it. Then we jump on it and tell ourselves " Oh no, another thing to add to my worries!" When this happens we often ignore the good things in our lives that are happening, and focus on the bad things. Again try to be realistic and look at things in a balanced way.
7. Look From the Outside In
Take a moment to observe your life as an outsider. Deep breaths can help you concentrate and see the bigger picture, including the positives in your life. This perspective can make your problems seem more manageable.
8. Forget the Sweeping Statements
Don't create unnecessary worries by making sweeping negative statements like "Why does this always happen to me?" "Not another thing to bring me down!" Or "I never get what I want." These thoughts are unhelpful and increase negativity and pressure. Instead, focus on addressing the problems at hand.
9. Put Things Into Balance
From the water that magically comes out of our taps, to our children or pets, the fact that we have something to eat, our job or our homes, we all have plenty of things to be grateful for. Take a break from your worries by writing a gratitude list. You will no doubt find your list is quite a long one. Do not take any aspect of your life for granted, be grateful for every good thing. Now write a list of your worries. How many are there compared to the number of items on your gratitude list?
10. Now, What Are Your Actual Worries?
Once you have things in perspective, you will most likely find that the TRUE amount of worries you have is small, even though some of the concerns you have as individual issues may be important. Be clear about what your true worries are in terms of how you phrase them. Your worries are now real problems and can be tackled one by one.
Overcoming Your Worries
Your worries can be overcome as soon as you have nailed them down to being specific problems that need dealing with. Even taking the smallest steps to overcome your problems can help you and lower down or stop your worrying. However, if your brain is used to worrying, it may yet require some retraining. Designate a specific time for worrying, such as 30 minutes after dinner or at specific times that you book in with yourself a few times a week. Plan this time into your schedule. During this time, write down and review your worries and think them through. Outside of this time, try not to allow yourself to worry. If your worries persist, write them on a worry list to deal with at a specific worry time.
In the meantime, deal with your problems. Communicate openly about your feelings or address issues directly, such as calling a debtor to discuss repayment options. Taking action can often diminish the size of the problem.
Sharing your worries can help but choose your confidants wisely. Seek out those who will listen, provide useful input, or simply offer a sympathetic ear. This can calm your mind and make you feel less burdened.
By following these strategies, you can manage and reduce your worries effectively. Remember, while it's natural to worry, excessive worrying can hinder your ability to find solutions. Take control of your worries and approach problems with a clear, focused mind. And if you and your worries need a helping hand, request a meeting with me. I can help you speed up your process by coaching you to overcome your problems, deal with your worry and help you see a clear path ahead.
Comments